Spare Room (week 22)

This song began, as many do, while on a long drive by myself. I let about a verse and a half play in my mind until I got so nervous I would forget part of it that I pulled over so I could write it down and record a quick voice memo of the melody. I ended up pulling over in the parking lot of an abandoned adult bookstore on the shore of the Susquehanna River. Believe it or not, there was more than one such location on my drive. The rest of the song came together in less memorable locales. This past week I was at Casita Del Polaris twice for different shows. If you've been there, you know that the path to the restroom takes you down a long hallway and through a small flower shop. On my way through, I noticed this tray of succulents cultivating in a windowsill. They looked so beautiful and simple, so almost unnoticeable, that they seemed a good fit for this little song. 
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When I began the weekly song project, this was what I was hoping would come out of it: songs and images that would likely have gone unfinished and un-captured if not for the creative imperative to find them. This week, it really happened like that. I'm happy. I hope you like the result

​Executive Patrons:
Karen Schantz
Alan Bargar
Jonathan Hochberg


Lyrics:
You live behind my eyes and in the silent slice before I fall asleep
which is to say you're everywhere though sometimes no more than a memory
and some nights I go crazy on a grail chase for a feeling that will last
drugging up on silver linings, drinking down the tonic of my past


But these days, my life is honest and it's clean
like a spare room where no one's ever been
and a lamp by the bedside that's always on,
no one knows why


I think sadness is the realest thing; sometimes I wonder
if every feeling's just a bedskirt, with another feeling swept right under
and I can see them peeking out, I know that there's so much more behind
But if you unwrapped all my layers, I can only guess what you would find


And these days I play a willing host
like a spare room where no one really goes
but there's a key under the welcome mat
and I just thought that you should know


I wish you'd visit me tonight
Oh, I know you shouldn't, I just thought you might
I'll probably fade out soon, but you know I'll leave the light on
I always leave the light


I tell myself that answers outweigh silence, matters little what they are
but I know better than to ask when one potential answer breaks my heart
Oh all the people that will move us, the people we will move
and I no longer live with the illusion that we get to choose


But these days my life is honest and it's clean,
Like a spare room where no one needs to be
but I come in from time to time to make the bed
and make my peace.

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